I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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