i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
