I'm jealous of your bromance
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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