What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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