what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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