she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
