im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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