Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize