Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
