I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Green mimosas i think yes
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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