do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
