Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
