i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize