Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize