I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
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