Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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