It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
