So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it's like iHOP with fire
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
