After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize