The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
