Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
