We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want to be your penis for a week.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
