i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
