The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
