So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
