thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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