if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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