No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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