i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize