help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize