I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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