Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
