Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
