Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
