We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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