I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
