yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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