We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
