well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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