just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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