it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
