Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
