i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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