Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
