Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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