I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
