Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm going to jail i love you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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