Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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