Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
