i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
