How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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