i think my tv is drunk
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
