I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize