You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
