You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
