i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did you pee in the oven last night??
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
