we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
