Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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