I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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