I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
